


I Can't Explain With Words

by destroya_ah_ah



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Violence, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destroya_ah_ah/pseuds/destroya_ah_ah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bracing myself for the act of bravery – and damn stupidity – I was about to commit, I looked my brother right in the eyes, practically piercing straight through his pupils. “Fuck it. I can’t explain with words.” I stated, not one wobble in my voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Explain With Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cammyohcammy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cammyohcammy/gifts).



> Written in exchange for cammyohcammy's Frerard, "I've been waiting all night for you to call me baby".  
> Cammy, you are perfect.

Walking down the stairs shakily, I could feel my awkward, in-turned knees knocking all the way. I was headed towards my brother’s bedroom situated in the basement of our house. At first, I couldn’t hear the music, for my racing heartbeat thundered out of my chest, deafening in my ears. It felt like my heart knocked the door, not my fist.

“Gerard?” I called. “Gee?” Sighing, and wanting to get my ‘ _brother-questions_ ’ over with, I went in, regardless of permission.

 

That’s when I noticed the music. Although I didn’t really expect anything less of Gerard than to be dancing around to his favourite Misfits album.

“Come to join, Mikey?” He shouted over a guitar part after he’d finished singing along.

“Uh, no. I need to talk t–”

“Ah, come on. It’s fun!” He cut me off. “Dance!” I didn’t want to dance. I wanted to talk. I wanted to _confess_. It wasn’t like me to want to pour my feelings out to anyone, so Gerard wasn’t taking me seriously. He ran rings around me and pranced about to the beat. I tried my best not to look; he was a distracting view even when he was stock-still. I held my arms around myself until he realised I wasn’t even going to pretend to sway a little.

“What’s up?” He asked, returning to the ground with a thud.

“I really wanna talk to you. Just take me seriously for once.” With that, he hurried over to switch his record off and ran right back to me.

 

I was still standing quite close to the door, and the urgent way I’d asked my brother to listen to me meant he didn’t invite me in any further.

“Mikey, what’s wrong?” He looked genuinely worried, making my nerves tremble. I took a gulp, holding onto my arm, and looked down at our feet. His hand touched my shoulder delicately. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk. I can’t help you if you won’t tell me. Please, Mikey, what is it?”

“It’s just… It’s–” I gulped again, unable to look him in the eye.

“You can tell me anything. I won’t laugh, I promise.” I looked up to his face that time, his words giving me just a sliver of confidence. “Are you getting bullied at school or something?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“What, then?”

“It’s more of a question.”

 

Silence erupted. My ears throbbed with my pulse again and Gerard’s hand on my shoulder was burning. I waited for his reply.

“Go on.” He urged. I took a deep breath.

“Well, uh, it’s like… I’ve been feeling – _ugh_.” I growled at myself, unable to get my words in the right order. They didn’t sound right, even the way I’d rehearsed them. “Um, it’s – Have you ever… Oh, jeez.”

“You still haven’t told me anything.” He let his hand drop from my shoulder. “Please let me help you.”

 

Bracing myself for the act of bravery – and damn stupidity – I was about to commit, I looked my brother right in the eyes, practically piercing straight through his pupils.

“Fuck it. I can’t explain with words.” I stated, not one wobble in my voice. I took a steady step towards him and let my face carry on travelling, reaching my hands out to hold his shoulders like I’d only ever dreamed about. He made a shocked noise into my lips as I kissed him. Stopping, I felt relief as my apprehension drifted away, but it was short lived as anxiety over his reaction built up. He pushed at my shoulders, making me stumble a little.

“What the fuck?” Gerard yelled. “Mikey, I’m your fucking _brother_.”

“I can’t help it if I want to kiss y–” I murmured before getting interrupted again. My sure-footed actions receded back to shaking legs and in-turned knees.

“Yes you can. You _will_.” His voice felt louder than what my heartbeat had been doing before. “Shit, Mikey, do you know how disgusting this is?”

“I know that it’s real.”

“ _Real_?”

 

I couldn’t take his disgusted mocking anymore. If my feelings were flowers, or plants, or any kind of nature, he would have trampled them all. That was the final straw. Gathering all my confidence back from where it was hiding, I stood up straighter and caught my brother’s eye again. Going for his shoulders once more, I held tighter.

“Don’t you feel it, Gee? Don’t you feel what I feel?” I sensed tears threatening to well up and spill over, but I held them back. Turning him around, I forced his back to the door and stepped closer. Gerard’s flailing hands pushed and beat at my chest to get me away, but my heartbeat punched back. I grabbed his wrists to stop him, jamming them up either side of his head. “ _Just take me seriously for once_.” I repeated myself, quietly stern.

 

Moving in again, I gave him my unrequited lips, slowly but surely. He struggled at first, writhing against me, trying to break his arms free of my grip and contorting his lips into a thin line. I persisted however, and I found I could loosen my grip on his wrists a little as he relaxed back against his door. The line of his lips vanished and they moved with mine, undoing the trampling of my feelings and attracting butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

 

My body seemed to press against his without my permission, but I found that I’d let go of his wrists and his hands were on my back, pushing me towards him.

“I’m sorry.” He hummed, speaking the words right next to my ear. My spine quivered. “I think I do feel it…but I’ve just been denying it.” I needed no more convincing, anxiety completely stripped from my being. Taken over by certainty in Gerard’s words, I coiled my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, feeling his hands rub my back a couple of times before finding the hem of my t-shirt and gliding up my bare skin. His leg brushed up between mine accidentally as our tongues made contact. I made a noise in the back of my throat. Although I could still hear my pulse thudding in my ears, feel our hearts have a boxing match between us, I was aware of my blood rushing elsewhere. Leaning my forehead to his, I breathed my words into his searching mouth.

“At least now I know I’m not the only one whose pants are tight.” I huffed, a smile playing with the corners of my mouth before they got forced into kissing again.

“Says the one who wanted me to take him seriously.” Gerard commented, raising an eyebrow and half-thrusting against my leg that time.

 

Spider-walking his hands down my back, around to my stomach and up my chest, he tugged at my t-shirt and I raised my arms to let him take it off me. He rushed back to my lips again. Finally, we were both as eager as each other. He walked me backwards; away from the door. We stood – kissing relentlessly – directly in the centre of his room, under the bulb in the ceiling, as if showing off in the spotlight. Then, like we had read each other’s thoughts, we broke off from the kiss, breathing heavily, and spoke the same words.

“There are so many things I’ve wanted to do with you.”


End file.
